A CT Teacher`s one-on-one session with an adult client:
Since teacher training, I had little time to reread or use the material, until I got a request to hold a one-on-one session with an adult. It was such a joy to create a session and to play with what comes to you.
Starting with conscious breathing we continued to play the videos. (Role-plays about energy exchange played by Anne and Finn that the teachers can use.) She was very familiar with working with energies and safe space, so it felt good to watch all of the videos with breaks in between.
The Bully and the Bat and the Clique videos were affective. We acted out these situations to feel deeper into the energy dynamics. We both changed roles from victim to abuser. It was very clear that it was easier for her to be the energy stealer, but to set her boundaries needed clarity and grounding. It was far too easy to be just nice than to say no and mean it.
We then took a situation from real life where someone called and asked to borrow money from her. The situation was that the money borrower was said to be sick; she was in a hurry and commanded her to send the money quickly. I acted the money borrower and she felt into setting her boundaries. We repeated the situation a couple of times before she was satisfied with her words and feelings expressed. This gave clarity to the situation and more understanding for certain layers.
It was very interesting to work with one-on-one session. So simple exercises that really made a difference and gave new insights. There is so much with this material that can be used in so many ways.
Feedback from the client
I am very grateful of this session I had with Inkeri. Even though I have taken SES (Tobias’ Sexual Energies School: Understanding Physical and Psychic Abuse) it was a life-changing experience to just see these videos where Anne and Finn were acting all these different roles – to understand they are just different roles we are choosing or are used to play, and to see that one can play them all; not just the ones you are grown up with or are used to play…. and understand I can also play them all… just need to practice those that I am not yet familiar with.
I have been stuck in certain roles. Practicing different answers, I wasn’t used to was GREAT – it made me feel more whole and stronger. I enjoyed that very much.
Now after few months and after being in challenging situations I see the benefit of this session. Still I would like to repeat (continue) practicing, because I feel it so useful to me.
Thank you Anne, Finn and Inkeri.
Creating freedom in our relationships
During the CT training, we practiced how to communicate with people without losing our energy or giving our energy to others. I made a plan that I will start using these new tools so that I integrate them into my “usual” life situations. I decided that I would create one pretty short conscious moment where I clearly try one new idea/tool. Later, I integrate these experiences together. I trust that this energy very expansively and smoothly finds its way.
I loved the tools related to the question “What could be done differently?” During the course, we made role plays related to a certain conflict between two people. After each role playing, we created a different outcome where was no energy feeding, bullying, or other harmful actions.
Soon after the course, I met a person. He was planning that he would try to solve the problems of his earlier life events by fighting his rights. Why? Because he had the experience that he had not been heard by others during a crisis in his life. In a way his experience was that it was others’ fault that he had the crisis overall. Would one get heard if one starts fighting with others? That was what he saw was the solution.
So, we met with that man. I took a role where I opened discussions so that he could create new ways to see and experience his own ways to act. He was actually pretty open to that. I started playing with my own words also – it is something I like to do often. Once you put your intention and consciousness into your words, you create new worlds. I put my intention into certain role play exercises which I did at the CT training. I kind of “translated” those role plays into discussions with that man. I used expressions that connected our discussions to CT training material. I felt that that way I integrated something from the CT training into our meeting.
I asked him a few times during our discussions that what could be done differently, and we discussed that together. We discussed for instance that how he will act when he starts feeling anger the next time. At the end, he said that he might not start fighting against others. He said he got new clarity for his experiences. My experience was that he felt that he did not need his usual protection /action roles during our meeting. Together, we learned something new. I appreciated his willingness and openness to learn something new in his life. You might guess that this is what inspires me to be in conversations with others – creating all new ways to communicate. It is fun to be of service that way. Miracles truly happen. That is what I have seen. I have fun creating old roles and communication habits into something totally new. I saw that CT training gives tools for any conversations in our lives. The tools can be used in our everyday life, or at our professional arenas. The clarity of the tools creates a safe space for practicing and learning new freedom in our relationships with others. I love that! (K.E.)
Abuse from an adult
The idea to take this role play resulted from the exercise we did: Saying firmly: “No!” when we should remember a scene of our life where we “should” have said „No!”
I wanted to show that abuse – sexual abuse – doesn’t have to be with strong body force. The mental manipulation is an even greater force to bring somebody to do what you want: here it was sex.
The mental manipulation only works when there are weaknesses or beliefs that in the end doesn’t serve you.
-In our case the girl wanted to please and be a good person, a good girl. She was afraid to hurt somebody. She didn’t wanted to think bad of others, always understanding. She wanted to trust the words and the person.
-He worked with charming words and pointed to her „weaknesses”, accused her that she wanted to reject him, that he is not being good enough. He questioned if she is a racist, if she doesn’t like him, if she doesn’t love him. The more he suspected her being „ not good or loving” she gets weaker and it was more difficult to defend herself. He was very persistent and charming when he sensed the point of her getting out of the car.
-Interesting is also, that the known fearful situation is not as frightening as the not knowing what will happen if you go out of the car in unknown surroundings at night alone outside of a village in a foreign country.
This was the setting: a young woman met a young man in a disco during her first vacation with friends in a foreign country. Everybody of her friends had already met somebody to flirt with, and so she was open to also flirt and enjoy the wonderful warm night etc. After dancing he invited her to show her a beautiful landscape where you could watch and talk in a beautiful setting. So they went with his car. It was not obvious for her that he wanted more than he said. He played the role of falling in love with her right there. When she wanted to stop kissing and wanted to go home, he started to blame her p.e. if she thinks that he disguised his plans, if he had bad intentions? He wanted to have a reason for her to say „no”. Etc.
So the play is very subtle. He is good in leading and not let go of the control by always speaking, charming, asking, suggesting, accusing, questioning her ideals and intentions and avoiding to make her real angry by adding some loving words etc. His leading the conversation didn’t let her come to ask herself if there is another perspective to look at the situation. It’s also not clear if you would have enough courage to stand to her point of view etc.
So there are many possibilities to end such a situation or to not even let it come to such a situation. It depends on the inner force and conviction the „victim” has. In our case her opening the door of the car and stepping out was enough to change his mind. (What she did the second time they played it with a solution – the victim stepping out of her victim role.)
I think it is very important to look at the words and sentences, especially in this last role play. Because it was the naive belief of this girl to believe the spoken words instead of recognizing the energy and intentions. It was also her naive beliefs of how we should treat each other etc.
Words are very powerful and the way they are spoken.
So that might be another point which could be considered in the Conscious Theater. How you distinguish between how something is said and what it means.
And even to look at the beliefs systems that are lying below/ behind the situations.
A situation from a live Teacher Training
One of the main targets in our teaching is to show how energy feeding / stealing takes place, so you can step out of that game. And that means for the most part to stop being a victim.
You probably also know that the victim – abuser game is played by both men and women in both roles: Meaning it is not about men versus women!
Still, from one of our teacher trainings in Germany, the question came up from a woman who works with students (young adults) from other cultures, about the way men treat women in non-western countries. She wanted to find a way to discuss this with her students and show them that there is another way to be together. – And this would surely have to do with teaching the women to stop being victims.
Finn and I suggested her to make a role-play about it together with another participant. They played husband and wife, him coming home from work, at once starting complaining about the food etc. in a really rough way to humiliate his wife. And the wife excusing, “I’ll cook something else”… Even if they did not act it out, it could easily have ended up with the husband giving her a hard slap or perhaps beating her up.
The solution has of course to come from the victim: She has to say NO to be treated like that. They played the role-play again; this time the wife really fast said “Stop!” to the husband in a very firm way when he started his power game. And all of us watching could really feel how she stepped out of that old role, not letting him put her down again!
Wow! Each time we see it, we have the chills! It shows how you can communicate this important issue to other people in an easy way! We are sure our new teacher will use this or a similar situation to show her students that you can change your role, if you choose!
Although the question came up as an issue in other cultures, it also often takes place in our western countries – also the rough behavior. It is so much about stopping being a victim, stopping being “nice”! And to begin being “you.”
Anne Maribo Andersen, Consciousness Theater